A New You – Step Two, Find Your Best Colors

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Colors for grief healing?  You read that right, color can help. Thought you knew your colors? Let’s revisit that.

All the color theories about how to find your most flattering colors came out in the late ’70s, and many of us “got out colors done” and have been wearing them ever since. Most of the prevailing theories can be (over) simplified into whether warm colors look good on you or cool colors look better. That basic evaluation isn’t going to change over time. If you were warm, you’re still warm and if you were cool you’re still cool.

Things do change some over time, though. You’re coloring begins to become more delicate and your skin more transparent as age thins it. And even more, becoming widowed is a life change that  calls for reevaluations of all kinds. That includes the colors you put on your face and the colors you wear. You also have a chance to choose colors now for nobody’s taste but your own. Maybe you love pea green but avoided it because your hubby said it reminded him of baby spit up. Had I been told something like that, I know I’d never have it in my closet again….then.


The changes in your life that you never asked for, present an occasion for taking the time to ask yourself what YOU want to do. It might also be time to start wearing some brighter and more cheerful colors. I’m all for wearing mourning clothes when you are in deep mourning if that’s what feels right to you. The day comes, however, when you start to notice again,  that the sun is shining and the birds are chirping. That’s when it’s time to put on something brighter. Color has been proven by science to have a big impact on mood. Cheerful colors can help you be more cheerful, even if it’s like whistling in the dark when you’re afraid at first. The happy colors can lift you closer to happy again. Find many more tips on color and wardrobe on my Pinterest boards just for widows at www.pinterest.com/mhoct6462/boards in the Widows and Fashion for Who We Are Now board.

The changes that age have wrought also need to be factored in. Happy and cheerful colors can help lift your spirits as you see your reflection and are greeted by smiles from those around you register the color. Harsher and stronger colors can overwhelm you now and wash you out. Vivid purples and emerald greens can be too much or can be just fine. Stronger colors can be just a matter of trial and error. Wear them and pay attention to how you feel in them and how others react to you. If they don’t seem right, try softer, lighter versions of the same color. Today is the day to stop wearing anything in your closet that doesn’t make you feel better and like you look your best.



Grief is a tough adversary to beat and I believe in using every weapon in your arsenal. Color is certainly one of those. Go use it! And don’t forget to buy yourself some fabulous pajamas in your new favorite colors for those days when you don’t feel like getting out of bed….and because you never know who you will meet in your dreams, right?

Stay tuned for the last article of three coming soon, about finding your personal style for who you are now. Coming soon!

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