Can’t Never Did Anything

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I remember being told as a child, very often “can’t never did anything!”. Were you told that?  Well, I took it to heart and have applied it to a lot of things.

I usually found out it was true. If I tried to do something, very often I could. Flying didn’t work out so well, but a lot of other things did. I know one thing for certain. If that something isn’t tried, it doesn’t happen.

That’s why, when I discovered that I wasn’t the only widow out there that was being treated rudely, insensitively and sometimes shunned, I decided to do something about it.  If there are a lot of us who think that, as a society, we can do better, then why not change things? Why settle for being treated as second class citizens by strangers, friends, and family who hide behind the excuse of “I didn’t know what to say or do for you”.

Well, why didn’t you?  I say, let’s teach them. Let’s teach them by refusing to live in the shadows, by staying home and staying quiet. By behaving like we did something wrong. By validating their expectations and living our lives according to what somebody else thinks widows should be, should do.

I never had so many people weigh in with their opinions and tell me what I should do than in the aftermath of Pat’s death. I wanted to scream “Don’t should on me!”Let’s show people, gently, a better way, by speaking up and making our voices heard. Let’s live our lives the way that we choose, not to make other people happy. Let’s not be put in a corner…remember Baby in Dirty Dancing?  Come out of the corner. Join me in the Widowlution! Stay tuned for more blog posts about that!

Let’s start a conversation. Let’s start a revolution!



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