Pretty soon now you’re gonna get a little older
Time may change me
But I can’t trace time
I said that time may change me
But I can’t trace time
– David Bowie
We widowed have some unchosen and unwelcome ch-ch-changes thrust upon us. It stinks and we must adjust to so many new ways, so many new patterns. It’s important, though, to make them strategically so as not to make matters worse. There’s a right way to change things around in your home and make it a place to heal your grief. Let me show you how, and still make your home all yours.
In the midst of this turmoil, the changes that have been thrust upon us, we can choose some things. Actually, we can change many things. Today I want to talk about changing our surroundings. We can either change them completely and move somewhere else altogether or perhaps we can stay right where we are and claim our space as now entirely our own.
I talk to a great many widows and widowers in my work. Most all of them, who chose to remain in the homes once shared with their spouse, elect to do some redecorating. As a Certified Grief coach and once Home Economics major who spent a lot of years working in the Interior Design field, I think redecorating is a splendidly healthy idea. It’s a very forward-looking thing to do, and it acknowledges that the past isn’t coming back. Time to seize the day and look to a different future.
Anyone contemplating a new environment, must go at their own pace and not rush into it before being ready, but most people find themselves ready at some point. I have a few suggestions about how to proceed.
When my own husband died, we had just moved into a home we built. We occupied it together, and it was planned for both of us. It was still pretty new to me. While I didn’t need to do a complete overhaul, I did make some significant changes and finished planned projects. The windows all got sheers over them, so I had more privacy. The sofas were reupholstered. I converted Pat’s den into a guest room.
In short, I made it my own, and I’m glad I did. It helped.
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© 2020 Widowlution, All rights reserved.
© 2021 Widowlution, All rights reserved.